SUNDAY ELITE MATCHUP PREVIEW
With Gameday nearly upon us, we hope you're as excited as we are! Every week our resident matchup experts preview each game for the weekend. They makes predictions based on a complex set of data statistical analysis reproduction algorithm tide models. But don't get upset if they doesn't pick your team to win. Use it as motivation to go out and prove them wrong. Now folks, I give you King Ding, Prince Tatas, Baby Gronk, and Dirty D!
(*Please note: These fuckers are real. They exist in the recesses of a child's mind eating a cheeseburger at Denny's on a Thursday night in mid December, while juggling nuts, thank you and goodnight.)
11:00 AM Field 1 – #1 Yeezy Taught Me (6-0) vs. #8 No Punt Intended (3-3)
Scouting Report: Yeezy Taught Me takes the field this Sunday as the top-seeded favorites to take the championship home. This team is helmed by the super talented, QB #21 Will “Human Joystick” Cuellar, who has led his team on an impressive, undefeated regular season campaign only one season after being a free agent team. The addition of superstar WR/DB Jermaine “Night Train” Thompson and the return of the nucleus from the fall team have added to their impressive improvement.
NPI, on the other hand, the clear underdogs in the matchup, have the chance to become a true Cinderella story if they can find a way to knock off the top dogs. After waltzing into the playoffs by beating defending champion, WTF, in the last game of the regular season, NPI has a chance to make history if they can find a way to pull this one out. Will NPI see the toughest road to glory, starting with Yeezy or will the fashionistas send them packing early?
Players to Watch: YTM- WR #10 Joe Reed, WR #14 Nikki “N-Lo” Lopez; NPI- WR #0 Ryan Marchese, #92 Jude Jackson
11:00 AM Field 2 – #MajorKey (3-1-2) vs. Los Gringos Locos (3-2-1)
Scouting Report: #MajorKey has had an impressive season this year and look to take that momentum all the way to the big game. They tout an impressive roster that is stacked with talent, especially on defense, giving them the potential to make a deep run all the way to the championship. Although, clearly led by QB Ron Brady Barrino, #MK is no “one-man-show”. They have playmakers at every position on the field.
Los Gringos Locos began to look like their old championship-selves this season, especially to close out the year. QB Mike Leutz has quietly been kicking serious ass in the 2nd half of the season with a 3 to 1, TD to INT ratio. Gringos could be a wild card favorite as they have a proven track record for success. Both teams have the talent to go to the big game, but it starts with this matchup- who has what it takes to prevail?
Players to Watch: #MK- QB #23 LeRon “Stats” Barrino, WR #16 Jessi Moran; LOCOS- QB #36 Mike “Light Eyes” Leutz, WR #27 Leizl “Diesel” Montecillo
11:00 AM Field 3 – White Walkers (4-2) vs. Bantam Phantoms (3-2-1)
Scouting Report: White Walkers have the #2 ranked offenses in the Bantam division at 34 ppg, led by QB #10 Travis “TD” Doyle and will look to let it fly in the playoffs. Doyle's top two targets Eric Zim Zimmer and Joelle Crabtree will look to get out of the gate early. White Walkers offense comes at you relentlessly and nobody throws the deep ball at a higher frequency.
Bantam Phantoms, on the other hand, are tied for the second-ranked defense, as they have held some of the best to low-point totals this season but their offense has also seen marked improvement under the stewardship of ROY candidate, QB Tim Klein, who ranks as the #1 overall QB in Bantam this season. Both teams are loaded with a combination of strong veteran players and some equally strong fresh faces. This one is set to go down to the wire- who takes the first step on the road to a championship?
Players to Watch: WW- WR #39 Jake Peyser, WR #13 Joelle Crabtree; BP- QB #1 Tim Klein, WR #16 Meewha Bell
11:00 AM Field 4 – WTF (4-2) vs. Frank N’ Beans (4-2)
Scouting Report: The defending champs have stumbled the past two weeks after only losing once in two seasons previously. They just haven’t quite looked like themselves and will need to get back to the basics and what they do best if they want to go back to back with titles. Frank N’ Beans, on the other hand, has surprised many with the play at QB from the ultra-talented Ned “Albino Lightning” Marks, who has quite the arm. This could be an upset in the making and an early exit for the defending champs if they don’t bring their best. I’m sure Sweeney Todd and The Godfather will have plenty to say about that, though. Will WTF get back to championship form before Frank N’ Beans can light up the scoreboard?
Players to Watch: WTF- WR #83 Jordan Stallings, WR #22 Sami Stern; FNB- WR #39 Frank “No Nickname Necessary” Campbell, WR #5 Jennifer “Handsy” Corvigno