SUNDAY ELITE MATCHUP PREVIEW
With Gameday nearly upon us, we hope you're as excited as we are! Every week our resident matchup experts preview each game for the weekend. They makes predictions based on a complex set of data statistical analysis reproduction algorithm tide models. But don't get upset if they doesn't pick your team to win. Use it as motivation to go out and prove them wrong. Now folks, I give you King Ding, Prince Tatas, Baby Gronk, and Dirty D!
(*Please note: These fuckers are real. They exist in the recesses of a child's mind eating a cheeseburger at Denny's on a Thursday night in mid December, while juggling nuts, thank you and goodnight.)
10:00 AM Firefighters Field 1 – Big Balls (0-1) vs. Endzone Assassins (0-1)
Scouting Report: Neither of these teams got off to the start they wanted to in week one. But EZA gets a break in the schedule against a brand new team while Big Balls have to contend with the former eastern conference champions who are coming off a loss and are desperate for a win. Conventional wisdom says this one has the potential to get ugly for Big Balls, so it’s time for them to come up with an unconventional game plan to get their first win.
Players to Watch: BB- WR #2 Jeremain Malcolm, WR #7 Marisa Dunigan; EZA - WR #13 Anthony “Big Boy” Velazquez, WR #4 Cathy “Consigliere” Hagan
10:00 AM Firefighters Field 2 – Chiefs (0-0) vs. Pink Panthers (0-1)
Scouting Report: Chiefs open the season with a lot of questions, but with real hope for the season. Star wide receiver turned quarterback #24 ‘Sir’ Bonawyn Eison will lead this offense for the first time, though he has a stiff test right out of the gate against the Pink Panthers. His ability to marshal the offense and get some production to finally give the Chiefs’ defense some help will be huge in this game. Especially since you know the Pink Panthers are going to bring the heat after losing their opener last week. This game is a huge challenge for the Chiefs -- but also a huge opportunity.
Players to Watch: CHS - QB #24 ‘Sir’ Bonawyn Eison, WR #21 “General” Thao Ngo; PP - WR #88 Chris “One Bad” Matta, WR #15 Katie “Lightning Foot” Lindberg
10:00 AM Firefighters Field 3 – Black Mambas (1-0) vs. MonStars (0-1)
Scouting Report: Though it’s early in the season, this game could have tremendous playoff tiebreaker implications. The MonStars need to go to 1-1 to not find themselves in a huge hole moving forward, and having the tiebreaker over the Black Mambas could prove to be a huge difference-maker at season’s end. Meanwhile, the Mambas are on the verge of starting their season 2-0 and no longer being classified as a surprise upstart, but a legitimate playoff contender. Either way expect a great game here.
Players to Watch: MAM- PR #11 Ryan “The Ides of” Marchese, WR #38 Irene Truong; MON- WR #69 Cameron “Cam” McDonald, PR #6 Illiana “Blackheart” Blackshear
12:00 PM Firefighters Field 1 – Sexy Coco (1-0) vs. Speed Demons (0-1)
Scouting Report: What can we say about this matchup that you don’t already know? The reigning champs are going up against one of the most decorated squads in all of the BMFL and it should be an incredible game from start to finish. Two great quarterbacks, two powerful offenses, two aggressive, playmaking defenses. This one has all you can ask for and more.
Players to Watch: COCO - WR #80 VI “Deez Nuts” Wilson, WR #34 Jamie “Cheeks” Millward; SD - WR #17 Felix “Big Cat” O’Casey, WR #12 Laura “The Terminator” Placentra
12:00 PM Firefighters Field 2 – Air Mail (0-0) vs. Squeeze It 2.0 (0-1)
Scouting Report: For the second season in a row, Air Mail was active in free agency to bolster their squad, picking up star WR Ketan “K” Patel, and one of the all-time great MLBs in Robb “Tylenol PM” Tyrol. But even without those two, Air Mail has had Squeeze It’s number the past couple of seasons. But that was the past, and this is now, and Squeeze It is coming off of a huge win over the Speed Demons. Momentum is on their side. Will their new look defense be able to hold back Air Mail’s baller offense?
Players to Watch: AM - QB #7 ‘Diamond’ Derek Sherman, WR #22 Lauren “Coop” Cooper; SI2 - WR/S #10 Phil “Tights” Reece, Jr., WR #99 Debora Chan.
12:00 PM Firefighters Field 3 – Marvelous (1-0) vs. Savages (0-1)
Scouting Report: Savages really have nowhere to go but up after last week’s performance, but that may be a tough hill to climb against the defending eastern conference champions. Marvelous shouldn’t overlook this game though -- the BMFL’s history is littered with stories of established teams getting knocked off by upstarts because they failed to take a new team seriously.
Players to Watch: MARV - WR #39 Frank “No Nickname Necessary” Campbell, WR #23 Jennifer “Golden” Kraham; SVG - QB #34 Emeka Uwasomba, WR #11 Brittany Mullings
9:00 AM Firefighters Field 1 – Bantam Phantoms (1-0) vs. No Flexing in My Endzone (1-0)
Scouting Report: Bantam Phantoms were extremely dominant all summer season long, but lost out on their championship dreams early on in the playoffs. No Flexing in My Endzone are the returning Spring champs who took the summer off to recharge. Both teams are phenomenal and stacked - who will take home the win this Sunday morning?
Players to Watch: BP - WR #33 Caitlin Colford, WR #55 Nate Maaske; FLEX - WR #12 Lauren “Coop” Cooper; QB #11 Shawn Best
9:00 AM Firefighters Field 2 – Furious Ballz (1-0) vs. Deez Dragonz (1-0)
Scouting Report: Furious Ballz come in as the divided larger team that spit out Ballz of Fury - they pounced on their opponents during week one, winning with a hefty 13 point margin. Deez Dragonz come off a stellar summer season that saw them lose round 1 of the playoffs by one point; game 1 last weekend showed off their formerly #1 defense and improved offense, as they held their opponents to only one touchdown. Who is hungrier for this victory?
Players to Watch: FB - WR #6 Illiana “Blackheart” Blackshear, WR #17 George Brobbey; DRA - WR #3 Ashley Foote, WR #11 Deione Sydnor
9:00 AM Firefighters Field 3 – WTF (1-0) vs. Fireflying Banana Slugs (0-1)
Scouting Report: WTF finished an uncharacteristic season during the summer in which they didn’t even earn a playoff spot. Fireflying Banana Slugs, a team that is constantly jumping from league to league, renaming and reinventing themselves, lost during week 1 to one of the strongest Bantam Legends squads, Bantam Phantoms. Staying organized and driven will grant one of these teams the win they hope for.
Players to Watch: WTF - WR #30 Melody Yang, WR #5 Jon Reynolds; FBS - WR #8 Lisa “Mighty” Maus, WR #28 John Capman
11:00 AM Firefighters Field 1 – The Untouchables (0-0) vs. Ballz of Fury (1-0)
Scouting Report: The Untouchables have had enough rest and are ready to rise to the top after surprisingly making the semi-finals last season. Ballz of Fury came in with a bang, dominating their opponents during week 1. Will the constantly evolving Untouchables be able to take out the organized, wristband wearing rookies, Ballz of Fury in week 2?
Players to Watch: UNT - WR # Mirza Ahmed, WR # Jesse Edelman; BOF - WR #8 Jamila Gerald, WR #27 Benny “Cuervo” Sikorski
11:00 AM Firefighters Field 2 – The Starks (0-1) vs. First Down (with the patriarchy) (0-0)
Scouting Report: The Starks had a disappointing 2+ touchdown loss during week 1. First Down (with the patriarchy) are coming in fresh off a bye week, but finally have their starting quarterback ready to lead them to the promised land. Can First Down get things going this season with their first game 1 win or will The Starks bring in some learnings from week 1 and take the W?
Players to Watch: TS - WR #4 Lydia Agopian, QB #5 Ryan “The Ides of” Marchese; FD - QB # Christana “CC” Crivellaro, WR # Julianne “All Day” Helinek
11:00 PM Firefighters Field 3 – #MajorKey (1-0) vs. Los Gringos Locos (0-1)
Scouting Report: #MajorKey narrowly defeated new squad, It’s a Wrap, during week one, while Los Gringos Locos suffered a one touchdown loss to WTF. With such small margins separating their respective win and loss last week, this Sunday, it’s anyone’s game.
Players to Watch: #MK - WR #13 Angie “The Shark” Boutin, WR #32 Chris “Fabio” Maurer; LGL - WR #14 Allison Rodak, WR #3 Moshe Indig
1:00 PM Firefighters Field 1 – Junior Varsity Blues (0-1) vs. Cash me Ousside (1-0)
Scouting Report: Junior Varsity Blues only scored twice during week 1, while Cash me Ousside won by a fair margin versus veteran, Cobra Kai. The former will need to up their offensive game if they are going to defeat Cash Me this weekend - can they make this happen?
Players to Watch: JVB - WR #51 Jessica Shih “Can Catch,” WR #1 Omair “Freaky” Siddiqui; CMO - WR #3 Jessica Sharoff; QB #88 Trevor Dombeck
1:00 PM Firefighters Field 2 – It’s a Wrap (0-1) vs. Spidermonkeys (1-0)
Scouting Report: A one touchdown loss brought It’s a Wrap to a 1-0 record after week one, while Spidermonkeys showed their prowess, destroying opponent, Yeezy Taught Me. Spidermonkeys are the favorite to win this one, but It’s a Wrap could be full of strategic surprises.
Players to Watch: IAW - WR #46 Sarah “Cake” Lee; QB #39 Frank “No Nickname Necessary” Campbell; SM - WR #34 Jamie “Cheeks” Millward, WR #87 Zack Kolin
1:00 PM Firefighters Field 3 – Yeezy Taught Me (0-1) vs. Dillon Panthers (0-1)
Scouting Report: Yeezy Taught Me suffered greatly during week one after losing their former quarterback to new squad, Ballz of Fury. Dillon Panthers similarly started with a new QB, but recorded a respectable one point loss to No Flexing in My Endzone, former Spring Bantam champs. If Yeezy Taught Me can adjust to their new quarterback, this match could be theirs for the taking - let’s find out this Sunday afternoon.
Players to Watch: YTM - WR #13 Lindsey Adams, WR #32 Jake “The Snake” Mcguire; DP - QB #6 Julie “Double J” Jefferson, WR #10 Ketan “K” Patel