With Gameday nearly upon us, we hope you're as excited as we are! Every week our resident matchup experts preview each game for the weekend. They makes predictions based on a complex set of data statistical analysis reproduction algorithm tide models. But don't get upset if they doesn't pick your team to win. Use it as motivation to go out and prove them wrong. Now folks, I give you King Ding, Prince Tatas, Baby Gronk, and Dirty D!

(*Please note: These fuckers are real. They exist in the recesses of a child's mind eating a cheeseburger at Denny's on a Thursday night in mid December, while juggling nuts, thank you and goodnight.) 

 

 

ALL GAMES ARE BACK ON ROOSEVELT ISLAND, OCTAGON!

Also, and more importantly, remember to play with caution. You can play with just as much intensity while protecting your body and your fellow players sharing the field with you.

BANTAMWEIGHT DIVISION

WEEK 5

10:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Savage Pandas (4-0) vs. Violet Vendetta (2-2)

Scouting Report Summary: With a highly competitive Heroes bracket, Violet Vendetta needs a win this weekend to retain a top spot. Savage Pandas will remain in one of the top three spots, win or lose - this rookie squad has been crushing it week in and week out.


10:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Furious Ballz (1-2) vs. Cash Me Ousside (3-0)

Scouting Report Summary: Believe it or not, Furious Ballz still has time to get it together at this midpoint of the season. A win over #2 ranked Cash Me Ousside, along with some losing outcomes for other Heroes teams, could propel them into playoff contention.


10:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – #MajorKey (2-2) vs. Ballz of Fury (3-0)

Scouting Report Summary: #MajorKey (#MK) has had a tough time matching their prowess from seasons past, while Ballz of Fury remain at the top of their game with an undefeated record. These teams battled it out in the championship two seasons ago with Ballz coming out on top - who will survive this match-up?


10:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – First Down (with the patriarchy) (0-4) vs. Cobra Kai (2-2)

Scouting Report Summary: First Down (with the patriarchy) are suffering from the usual - a new quarterback who needs time to acclimate to the new squad; Cobra Kai needs this win to stay above the playoff line - odds are on Cobra Kai, but the outcome remains to be seen.


12:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – The Untouchables (3-0) vs. D-Generation X (0-3)

Scouting Report Summary: D-Generation X have as many losses as The Untouchables have wins - chances are this game goes to the latter squad, but stranger things have happened in the BMFL.


12:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – It’s A Wrap (3-1) vs. Intentional Pounding (2-2)

Scouting Report Summary: Former champs Intentional Pounding have had a wishy washy season, while It’s A Wrap earned their first regular season loss week 1 and have been riding high ever since. Expect a great game between two very competent, confident and athletic teams.


12:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – WTF (0-3) vs. Yeezy Taught Me (0-4)

Scouting Report Summary: The two bottom teams in Legends would kill for a win this Sunday - the good news is, one team has to claim victory, unless they tie...


12:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Los Gringos Locos (2-2) vs. Bantam Phantoms (2-1)

Scouting Report Summary: Ranked 4th and 6th in Legends respectively, Bantam Phantoms and Los Gringos Locos each need a win to retain or obtain a winning record. One misstep could disqualify any squad from the playoffs in this competitive division.


1:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Blood, Sweat & Beers (2-2) vs. White Walkers 2.0 (2-2)

Scouting Report Summary: White Walkers 2.0 sit just above the playoff qualification line, while Blood, Sweat & Beers are just below - the winner of this contest will be in prime position for postseason glory.


1:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – No Flexing In My Endzone (3-0) vs. Spidermonkeys (2-2)

Scouting Report Summary: At #8 with a 2-2 record, Spidermonkeys is hungry for a win versus currently undefeated #1 team No Flexing in My Endzone. Beating No Flexing is definitely possible, but Spidermonkeys need to be disciplined and play with resolve.


HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION

11:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Squeeze It (0-3) vs. LOUPville (1-2)

Scouting Report: Playoffs came early for both of these squads, who essentially find themselves in ‘must-win’ territory for this matchup. In a stacked western conference, four losses is almost certainly the end of a team’s playoff hopes, which is where Squeeze It will sit if they lose this game. Meanwhile, a LOUPville loss will drop them to 1-3 -- and give the vital head-to-head tiebreaker to Squeeze It as well. Both of these teams are full of veteran players who know what it takes to win a big game. Expect a playoff atmosphere in this battle.

Players to Watch: SI2- WR #34 ‘Sir’ Bonawyn Eison, WR #81 Lauren “Chips” Pringle; LPV- WR #9 Shahid “Cookie Monster” Wilson, WR #19 Milana Velasquez


11:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Marvelous (4-0) vs. Harper’s Heroes (3-0)

Scouting Report: *Game of the Week!* Two undefeated squads matchup to see who gets to be the frontrunner for the top seed in the Eastern Conference. Statistically, these teams are nearly identical. Harper’s Heroes brings the league’s top defense (8.33pts/game allowed) and #2 offense (31pts/game scored) up against Marvelous’ #2 ranked defense (10pts/game allowed) and #1 offense (31.75pts/game scored). This game is likely to come down to two things: turnovers and conversions. The team that hangs onto the ball and makes it’s extra points is the team that will almost certainly win this game.

Players to Watch: MARV- WR #0 Aaron “Beef Stew” Stewart, WR Lindsay Ducey; HH- WR #0 ‘Croc’ Hunter Mandel, WR #9 Lindsay “Kiddo” Kent


11:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – TDs on Stage (2-1) vs. Sexy Coco (2-1)

Scouting Report: A throwback to one of the BMFL’s first rivalries (when TDs were known as Thot Pockets), these teams know each other all too well. There’s a lot on the line in this battle between the current #3 and #4 seeds in the west, as the winner will hold a key head-to-head tiebreaker in a crowded Western Conference. We know what both of these squads bring to the table -- TDs are going to use their stable of incredible athletes to try to run circles around Coco, while Coco tries to use their veteran savvy to hold off TDs just long enough to escape with a win. No matter who comes out on top, expect a great game here.

Players to Watch: TDS- WR #23 LeRon “Stats” Barrino, WR #17 Julienne “All Day” Helinek; COCO- CB #4 Ugo “Ugo Island” Ugeh, WR #34 Jamie “Cheeks” Millward


11:00 AM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Bear Fights (0-4) vs. Black Mambas (0-3)

Scouting Report: It’s not often you see a team participate in the “Battle of the Basement” twice in one season, but that’s where Bear Fights find themselves this week. The good news is, every week is a new opportunity and Bear Fights have as good a chance as anyone to get their first win this week. The same goes for the Black Mambas, who have to be sharpening their fangs before a chance to dig into some fresh meat. This game is an opportunity for both of these squads to work on the fundamentals they’ll need to beat playoff caliber squads. If they can do that, then they’ve already won.

Players to Watch: BEAR- WR #9 Michael Guzman, WR #2 Joanne Mierzejewski; MAM- WR #99 Zay Clarke, WR #21 Kristi Lalli


1:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Savages (0-4) vs. MonStars (3-1)

Scouting Report: I want to be clear, we’re not saying that the MonStars are going to paint the Savages green and spank them like a disobedient avocado. However, if we were to treat the prediction for this game like a weather forecast, there would be a 70% chance of green paint and wooden paddles in the Savages’ weekend forecast...I’ll be honest I don’t really know where I was going with that sentence. But I digress. The point is, if the 1980 US hockey team could defeat the entire Soviet Union and convert all of their fans to fans of America, thereby ending communism in a single night, the Savages can beat the MonStars!! USA! USA! USA! (Editor’s Note: We are well aware that while amazing, the 1980 US hockey team did absolutely none of those things. Prince Tatas is (once again) confusing their improbable victory with the plot of Rocky IV. Stay in school, kids.)

Players to Watch: SVG- WR #1 Marcus Singleton, WR #23 Tamiqua Graham; MON- WR #9 Jamil Thomas, WR #0 Yvette Wyatt


1:00 PM Roosevelt Island Octagon – Playmakers HW (1-2) vs. Ballz (1-2)

Scouting Report: Playmakers are currently clinging to the East’s final playoff spot, but are only ahead of Ballz because of point differential. This game could very well decide the team that ends up taking the East’s final playoff spot, which means both teams are going to be up for it. These are both athletic, physical teams that lack Heavyweight division experience. Don’t be surprised if it’s sloppy, with turnovers being a huge factor in the outcome. Ultimately though, the team that can battle through mistakes and make a huge play when they need it most is the team that will find themselves in the ‘W’ column at the end.

Players to Watch: PM- WR Fernando Fiorentino, WR Narae Kang; BLZ- WR #7 Matt Munn, WR #99 Amy Beauchamp