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BMFL SUN TIMES 

   Play for Fun. Feel like a Pro. Thursday, September 14, 2017 $1.50 

  FOOTBALL IS BACK, BABY!!!!


MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL -- KING DING’S 5-POINT STANCE

By KING DING, BMFL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

 

RANDALL’S ISLAND – MNF reaches capacity for the first time and there are contenders at every turn.  

 

1. Only Week One

The reigning Tea Cup Champion Wolfpack start the season 0-2 but the panic meter need not sound off just yet. Afterall, It’s only week one. What’s really impressive is how decorated their returning roster is. They boast 2 season MVPs (Williams and Velazquez), 2 MOPOY (Velazquez, Acevedo), 2 DPOY (Solano, Karchawer), 2 FOPOY (Kraham, Williams), a ROY and a 3-time FDPOY. They are stacked with the cream of the crop.

 

2. New Additions

It's always interesting to see who teams will add to get themselves over the hump or use to replace production of a departed player. I really like what the Mud Dogs did in picking up Candice Clawson. Great team attitude and she further enhances an already solid female WR corps. 7 REC on the night show they are determined to get her reliable hands involved early and often.

 

3. Game of the Night

#MajorKeyAnotherOne vs Playmakers was entertaining from start to finish. Star players, organized game plans, and tenacious play led to a high scoring, action-packed game. #MajorKey comes out with the victory, 33-26 and has their sights set on the Tea Cup Trophy. Playmakers played extremely well in their MNF debut and showed no signs of being overwhelmed. What really jumps off the stat sheet was how everyone was involved. Both teams will need to continue that trend as the season wears on.

 

4. Performance of the Night

Brie Corona-Galo played lights out on both sides of the ball in leading the Swamp Donkeys to a 2-0 record to start the season. She was especially dominant in the 39-6 crushing of the reigning champs. 2 TDs and 1 Pick earn her Female Player of the Week.

 

5. Way Too Early Final Four (based only off week one)

#4 Mud Dogs, #3 HMD, #2 Swamp Donkeys, #1 #MajorKeyAnotherOne


SUNDAY ELITE HEAVYWEIGHT -- BEVY OF CLOSE GAMES PROVE HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION HAS NEVER BEEN MORE COMPETITIVE

By Prince Tatas, BMFL Senior Writer

 

ROOSEVELT ISLAND - We knew going into this season that with an influx of new, talented teams that it could be the most competitive season the heavyweight division has ever seen.  But we didn’t know it would be this good this fast.  Let’s recap all the week one action right here.

 

Speed Demons Squeezed Out of Spotlight in Debut

Though it has been just two full seasons since Squeeze It’s Big Bowl VII victory, at times it must have seemed to be aeons ago for the former champions.  Squeeze It snuck into the playoffs two seasons ago, and missed the big dance altogether last season.  A disappointing end to a season for a team that has a lot of pride, and rightfully so.  Coming into this season, Squeeze It needed to make a statement to the league that demanded they be taken seriously as a potential championship contender.  Well what better way to do so than by knocking off the vaunted Speed Demons in week one?  A signature win indeed, rest assured everyone remembers why this team was so feared in the winter of 2017 now.  Perhaps as important as the win itself, Squeeze It finally flashed what they had been missing all of last season -- a shutdown defense.  Holding the Demons’ powerful offense to three touchdowns, including 0-3 on extra points, as well as forcing a crucial turnover at the end of the game, proves they have a formula for playing the type of defense that they need to play to make a long playoff run.  But the scary thing about the heavyweight division is that they won’t have long to enjoy their victory.  Air Mail looms large on the schedule next week, and they have had Squeeze It’s number in both of the last two seasons.  

 

Pink Panthers Mesmerized by Beautiful TDs

There’s only one thing more beautiful than some great TDs on a Sunday -- and that’s great defense to go with them.  TDs are Beautiful put together a remarkably complete win this week, showing that they have the goods on both sides of the ball and coming through in the clutch to seal a tough win over the Pink Panthers.  QB #12 Andy “Cannonball” Park was brilliant in his debut, spreading the ball around masterfully as he tossed four touchdowns to four different receivers.  Park is famous for his howitzer-esque arm strength, though questions about his touch and accuracy remained prior to this season.  Park put those questions to rest by completing twenty seven passes -- good enough to put him among the league leaders in completions thus far.  Not to be outdone by the offense though, the defense forced three turnovers against a Pink Panthers team that normally only commits four or five of those in a season.  Though it remains early, TDs have vaulted themselves right into the conversation for best team in the east with this balanced yet dominant showing.  

 

It Always Hurts to Get Savaged by a Black Mamba

The Black Mambas took a couple of seasons off from the heavyweight division, but sweet fancy moses do they know how to return with style.  A 36-0 shellacking of any heavyweight team is nothing to sneeze at, and the Mambas were on fire on both sides of the ball in this one.  They deserve tremendous credit for coming out of the gate with a huge win, but the real story here might be about the Savages’ paltry offensive performance.  With a new quarterback under center, Savages managed to complete just four passes in total all game.  That’s not simply a disappointing offensive performance, that’s a clear message that change is needed.  Whatever playbook Savages were running needs an overhaul -- completions and momentum are the lifeblood of any great offense.  They have the talent to compete in this league, you could see that even watching them in a tough loss on Sunday.  But to do it they’re going to have to go back to the drawing board and get something out of an offense that was quite literally a total zero in week one.

 

Catch a Fade Kicks Big Balls All Over the Field

The talent was never a question for Catch a Fade -- their lineup is loaded with all stars at nearly every position.  But with a quarterback who is brand new not just to the heavyweight division but the BMFL in general, there was always a question as to how quickly it would all come together for this talented squad.  Turns out the answer is pretty fast!  All they did was pitch a shutout in their BMFL debut, while the offense looked as if it was already in midseason form.  Rookie quarterback #12 Andrew Hearon connected with seven different receivers and tossed three touchdowns, showing that his adjustment period to the heavyweight division’s unique style of play appears to be brief indeed.  The real test for them lies ahead though, as following their bye week they have a date with the Pink Panthers -- a team that normally feasts on newcomers.

 

Revenge Can Be So Marvelous

Last season the End Zone Assassins took it to Marvelous in week 2, putting down the eventually eastern conference champions by twenty points.  Though Marvelous went on to bigger and better things while the Assassins narrowly missed out on the playoffs, that sort of beatdown always remains in the back of a team’s mind.  It gnaws away at them like an itch that just can’t be scratched until there’s an opportunity for redemption.  An opportunity Marvelous finally had the chance to make the most of this past week -- and they did not miss their opportunity.  New quarterback Chris “White Blade” Pertuz was poised and efficient in his debut, leading the offense down the field with less than two minutes remaining to tie the game on a rushing TD, then tossing the game winning extra point with just thirty nine seconds remaining.  The offense was everything Marvelous hoped it would be when they set the plan of moving MVP quarterback Frank Campbell to WR in deference to Pertuz.  To be fair to the Assassins though, they played a fantastic football game and came up just short.  We finally saw the playmaking, elusive Luis “Mangu” Acevedo that was occasionally absent last season, and the defense made several key stops to keep the game within striking distance.  You can’t win them all, especially against a top team like Marvelous.  EZA needs to find a way to get in the win column next week though or they’re going to find themselves in a deep hole for the second straight season.

 

SUNDAY ELITE BANTAMWEIGHT -- ROOKIE SQUAD, BALLZ OF FURY, EXPLODES WHILE SOME EARLY PLAYOFF FAVORITES EMERGE FROM THE VETERAN TEAM POOL

By Dirty D, BMFL Staff Writer

 

ROOSEVELT ISLAND - Bantam is back and bigger than ever! With twenty teams split into two divisions, Heroes and Legends, this season will certainly be one to watch. Heroes sports an even mix of rookie and veteran teams, while Legends is largely made up of returning squads, including two un-dethroned former champions. The action this past Sunday was intense; one match-up saw the afore-mentioned championship teams play one another in a game that was won by only one point.

 

No Flexing in My Endzone Rains on Dillon Panthers’ Extra Point Parade

Dillon Panthers, the artists formerly known as Ace Holes 1.0, returned from their Bantamweight summer championship win, revamped and ready to continue their undefeated streak. Unfortunately, in come No Flexing in My Endzone, Spring Bantam Champions, fresh off a season-long break and ready to poke a hole in Dillon Panthers’ formerly indestructible armor. Even with an impressive debut as starting quarterback for the Panthers, QB #6 Julie Jefferson (3 TDP, 1 XPP) was just two extra point completions short of a win. Major credit goes to this femme fatale, as her opposing quarterback, #11 Shawn Best (3 TDP, 2 XPP, 1 INT), is far more seasoned and had been the one to lead his team to its trophy this past Spring. It will be interesting to see who continues as QB for the Panthers - spies tell me, #9 Dan Kuelzow, football veteran and BMFL rookie, could be next game’s starter.

 

Former Yeezy QB Brings the Heat to Ballz of Fury

QB #21 Will “Joystick” Cuellar (3 TDP, 2 XPP, 2 RuTD, 1 PICK) ditched Yeezy Taught Me this season to try his hand at leading a brand new BMFL Bantam team, Ballz of Fury. This collection of athletes left an unnamed competitor to join the best damn football league on the island (not Roosevelt...Manhattan) this Fall and boy did they enter with a splash. Defeating opponents, The Starks by a hefty margin, Ballz of Fury ended this match, 32-15. In a game that saw four total picks on defense, along with Cuellar’s stellar pass/rush game, The Starks didn’t even stand a chance. Better luck next time!

 

Spidermonkeys and Deez Dragonz Emerge as Early Playoff Favorites

Respectively destroying their opponents by margins of 28 and 34, Deez Dragonz and Spidermonkeys came out Sunday, guns blazing, ready to not lose by one point in the first round of Fall playoffs, like they both did in the summertime. Spidermonkeys QB #84 Ned “Albino Lightning” Marks (3 TDP, 3 XPP, 1 RuXPT, 1 INT, 1 REC, 1 PIC, 1 DefTD) and Deez Dragonz MVP QB #22 Diana “Dirty D” Berkovits (5 TDP, 4 XPP) continue to battle it out over stats this season; after week 1, Dirty D takes home the highest QBR at 140.0 with Albino Lightning coming in a close second at 133.33. Spidermonkeys’ defense recorded 4 total picks, including 2 defensive touchdowns, and 2 sacks, compared with 3 picks and 2 sacks by the Dragonz D. Too bad these squads won’t get to play each other, during the regular season at least, as they sit in separate divisions yet again. Next week pits each of these giants against rookie squads - good luck to their opponents as these teams have been known to show no mercy on the gridiron.

 

Dirty D’s Early Predictions

1. The Race for Female OPOY is On!

Recording 9 REC, 1 TD and 1 XPR for her new team, It’s a Wrap WR, #14 Belinda “Don’t Test Her” Hester will definitely be in contention for this title, while #12 Lauren “Coop” Cooper of No Flexing in My Endzone is not far behind with 7 REC and 1 XPR. Who will take the lead next week?

2. Deione Sydnor of Deez Dragonz will take the Interception Lead Next Sunday

Deione was a defensive force to be reckoned with before he was sidelined with a season-ending injury last year. With two picks on record already, who knows how many more he can amass this Fall?

Let’s wait to see what develops next Sunday morning... 


FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS -- 4 THINGS YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO KNOW

By: “Daring” Deb, BMFL STAFF WRITER

 

RANDALL’S ISLAND -  FNL returns this week 9/15!!!!


 

BMFL POWER RANKINGS

BMFL POWER RANKINGS

SUNDAY ELITE HEAVYWEIGHT
1. SEXY COCO
2. TD'S YOU CAN FEEL
3. AIR MAIL
4. SQUEEZE IT
5. SPEED DEMONS
6. MARVELOUS
7. PINK PANTHERS
8. BLACK MAMBAS
9. MONSTARS
10. ENDZONE ASSASSINS
11. CATCH A FADE
12. SAVAGES
13. BIG BALLS
14. CHIEFS

SUNDAY ELITE BANTAMWEIGHT
1. NO FLEXING IN MY ENDZONE
2. BANTAM PHANTOMS
3. SPIDERMONKEYS
4. DILLON PANTHERS
5. #MAJOR KEY
6. DEEZ DRAGONS
7. WTF
8. BALLZ OF FURY
9. FURIOUS BALLZ
10. CASH ME OUSSIDE
11. THE UNTOUCHABLES
12. YEEZY TAUGHT ME
13. FIREFLY BANANA SLUGS
14. IT'S A WRAP
15. JUNIOR VARSITY BLUES
16. INTENTIONAL POUNDING
17. COBRA KAI
18. LOS GRINGOS LOCOS
19. THE STARKS
20. FIRST DOWN

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS
1. PINK PANTHERS
2. BEEZNUTZ
3. A TEAM HAS NO NAME
4. PLAYMAKERS
5. MARVELOUS
6. TEAM ENTOURAGE
7. WOLFPACK
8. HURRICANE SZN
9. TUNE SQUAD
10. DECEPTICONS
11. EARTH, WIND, AND FITZPATRICK
12. THE BRADY BUNCH

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
1. #MAJORKEYANOTHERONE
2. SWAMP DONKEYS
3. HMD
4. MUD DOGS
5. WOLFPACK
6. BLAMEACE
7. PLAYMAKERS
8. NYE PARTY

KING DING, BMFL Editor-In-Chief

KING DING, BMFL Editor-In-Chief

Ram Shamalam, jelly and jam. Peek-a-boo!

B-Nice, BMFL Editor-at-Large

B-Nice, BMFL Editor-at-Large

Prom is going to be amazing this year!

Prince Tatas, BMFL Senior Writer

Prince Tatas, BMFL Senior Writer

Did somebody say Tatas...

Baby Gronk, BMFL Senior Writer

Baby Gronk, BMFL Senior Writer

Gronk like beer!

"DIRTY D", BMFL STAFF WRITER

"DIRTY D", BMFL STAFF WRITER

"I have many skills you haven't even seen yet..."

Daring Deb, BMFL Staff Writer

Daring Deb, BMFL Staff Writer

"LET'S GO!!!!"